​Strengthening your boundary

Boundaries are the foundation of our being. The healthier and stronger the boundaries, the quicker we can bounce back from life’s ups and downs. Trauma and a lack of boundaries go hand in hand; every trauma comes with the crossing of a boundary. This is obvious in any kind of abuse, also with car accidents or medical trauma, but a boundary injury can also happen in more subtle ways. Nothing on the outside may indicate that something is wrong—but we feel deep in our gut that our boundary has just been crossed.

Having no boundaries or too narrow ones means we're easily pulled into caretaker patterns, bending over backwards for others while neglecting our own needs. This is one of the most difficult patterns to shift as it is so woven into our early attachment system. We may then even feel bad when we do something healthy for ourselves, as we have learnt to abandon ourselves long ago to survive childhood. The guilt can be huge once we start becoming “selfish” in a healthy way. The trick is not to feed the guilt monster. Notice the bad feelings, but give them no weight. Instead, tell yourself: “This means I am going in the right direction!” And in the beginning, this might feel like you have just killed someone, well knowing that you haven’t. But that guilt implant can be huge. Learn not to keep feeding it, even though it may not be easy at first. This is an unhealthy guilt that needs to be ignored so it can shrink over time.

Some of us were not allowed to set our own boundaries, or they were drawn too tightly and too close to our bodies. A healthy boundary generally stretches as wide as you can spread your arms, 360 degrees around your body. Researchers found that a person’s microorganisms even spread out to about an arm's distance.

How does it feel to stretch your arms out wide and claim this space as yours? How is it when you move your arms closer to your body? When do you feel more relaxed? When do you contract? Do you collapse a bit, or is your spine stacked up straight? What friends allow you to have your own boundaries comfortably? In what situations does your boundary change all of a sudden?

Even when we generally have healthy boundaries, they can still be compromised. Shock is one of the biggest boundary breakers. It bursts through its banks with immediate effect, leaving us shattered, off guard, ungrounded and wobbly. Not quite ourselves—literally. It allows others into our space that we usually hold sacred.

This happened to me when a client texted me on a weekend that she didn’t want to live anymore, and then was inconsolable on the phone for over an hour. In the end, I had to call an ambulance and deal with a very unhelpful agency, which was the most stressful part for me. Reflecting now, that’s what threw me the most, not my client. The text had arrived while I was dancing and enjoying myself away from home. I was not prepared for it, did not have my professional boundaries in place, and then faced a very unkind and unnecessary secondary trauma from the agency. The shock went straight to my heart, and it took me days to fully come out of it. In fact, I only found my way out through a Somatic Experiencing supervision session.

And it was a powerful rebirth and embracing of my own boundary, which I wouldn’t have gotten to without this incident. Life sometimes throws you raw diamonds. Gifts that at first glance don’t feel like one.

In that session, I was rebuilding a new, much more stable boundary around me. I knew immediately that this was not a cognitive process, and it took me quickly to a very early nonverbal place—my embryo self in the womb. I visualised being back in my mother’s womb, where I had felt safe and held. Slow movements, drinking in the fluids, nourished by the umbilical cord, somersaulting with delicious joy. I felt safe, held, and loved. Inside and outside were clearly marked, so I could just be. I embodied this with all my senses, and something inside me shifted and healed.

Once I was born, things got muddled, my mother confused my light with hers, and I instinctively pulled back to protect myself from that invasion. So in the counselling session, I switched to a better resource: I visualised that straight after leaving my mother’s womb, I arrived in the loving hands of my aunty. She had always seen my light clearly and loved and supported it. She treated it like a precious seedling that needed watering, sunlight, and protection. And a big dose of unabashed utter delight.

We need caregivers who reflect back our own light and boundaries with joy. This is why we are herd animals —we can’t do this on our own—we need another human being (sometimes a pet or an imagined figure will do as well) to reflect who we are and what belongs to us. “This is my space! This belongs only to me!” And once I could so clearly feel my own space and light, my own boundary started to naturally grow and expand 360 degrees all around me. There is so much love for my own self when I am connected to this newfound boundary, and no one is allowed to cross it without my permission, especially no agency. There is a softness, but also a very strong, clearness.

Having our own light reflected back to us from babyhood onwards helps grow healthy boundaries. If it didn’t happen when we were little, we can do it now. It is never too late. Visualisation and therapy are powerful tools when you are met and in a safe social context. Having reflected back on your capabilities, your awesomeness, our feelings aligned and wholeness.

And the healthy resource might be something completely different for you. One client had to send her four-year-old self to the imaginary land of the comic Moomins to repair her boundary. Another client had to sit on the back of a horse to feel safe and protected. A domestic violence survivor needed a lion to walk on her side at all times. Visualised animals who don’t have an issue with setting boundaries can be perfect. A lot of the time, setting boundaries is difficult if someone has a problematic relationship with anger, so switching to an animal can be very helpful. Without healthy anger, setting boundaries is impossible, as your “No!” will be more of a “no?” that a lot of people won’t take seriously.

I’ve been witness to hundreds of different versions of boundary support. These found resources are unique, individualised, and completely different for every person; they are medicine. I love how different and new they are each time. They need to be just right. And once you have found your boundary-support visual, you can return to it over and over again. I will enter the womb experience before stressful events to better prepare myself. Before dealing with agencies, I will make sure my boundary light is on. And if I forget to do it, I can always come back to the womb experience later on and re-erect and strengthen my own boundary.

I was born into a family where worrying about others was the headline of everyday life. But worrying about another human being actually undermines their boundaries. It is so much healthier to see the other person’s light instead. To reflect back to them what they themselves may not see in a moment. I will have to retrain myself, get out of the worrying mode and into a “trusting the light mode” instead. Pressing the acupressure point spleen 4 on your foot can help tremendously, too.

My early womb experience, my best Kindergarten friend, my aunty, and my husband were people in my life who supported me in developing a relatively healthy boundary.  

But my own boundary needed upgrading. Just as that weekend incident showed. How is your boundary working for you?

 

With love

Barbara

Barbara Schmidt

Counselling Somatic

Trauma and nervous system recovery 

If you want to find out more about your nervous system and the incredible healing from trauma I am inviting you to read the short articles on www.counsellingsomatic.com.au in my blog section - you can subscribe to my newsletters via my website and receive all future blogs conveniently via email.
Feel free to forward my article to others, but please add my name to it for copyright reasons. You can also find me on my Facebook page “Counselling Somatic Barbara Schmidt"

 

 

We can’t push the river - when we are pushing we are not creating

We are 80 percent water and so the saying “you can’t push a river” refers directly to us: we are the embodied river! Life means going down this river with its rapids and slow flowing sections. We follow the river all the way to the ocean where we can rest, become vapour and be pulled up by the sun towards the cosmos. And one day we might end up as raindrops falling down onto earth again.

Moving along this river we will come to parts where there is little flow and sometimes it can become so stagnant that we might even stop moving altogether. We can then go into a nervous system freeze state (see blog article “Trauma education I: Freeze state”) and being there isn’t exactly fun. It is so very tempting to start pushing so that we can get out of this uncomfortable place. We strangely seem to learn from an early age to push harder when something is tight; but you cannot undo a knot by pulling it, you need to ease the knot open with patience and a gentle hand.

Stress, trauma, life interruptions or any other overwhelming events can cause our nervous system to tighten. Each time we say “I should …” we are most likely pushing, and then our nervous system automatically contracts. A tight nervous system loses its flexibility and cannot bounce back so easily from life’s ups and downs. Life will always come with its bumpy sections, but with a relaxed nervous system we will be able to ride the waves with more eloquence and ease. When we start pushing while in a freeze state we will most likely push ourselves over the edge.

In the Greek mythology Zeus punished Sisyphus by forcing him to roll an immense boulder up a hill.  Every time it neared the top it would roll back down, repeating this action for eternity. Once we start pushing we are on the endless journey of rolling a big rock up a massively steep hill. We won’t succeed. Should we make it to the top of that hill, we will be paying a price. A price so high, that we wish we’d never started this climb. The cost for our summit success can be adrenal fatigue, brain fog, insomnia, exhaustion and massive burn out symptoms.

Now time won’t equal time any more: if we keep talking to someone once we have had enough might mean we are exhausted for the rest of the whole day. A week of pushing doesn’t equal a week of resting – it may take us weeks if not months to recover from it. If we don’t give up on the things that don’t flow, we will inevitably give up on life itself: Once there is stagnation it will be hard to trust the flow of life or even life itself. We can start feeling suicidal and in a deep freeze state.

Instead of beating ourselves up for being lazy, procrastinating, depressed, overwhelmed or suicidal we need to be really kind to ourselves. We can recognize that the river of life simply got jammed up, so anything coming after it started accumulating and blocking its flow. If we truly give ourselves permission to rest and let go our whole system can relax and we are on the right path.

Time to call in helpers and friends as some of the blocking items are “heavy” and cannot be removed on our own. Via the world of sensations and somatic therapy we can dive deep into the wisdom of our reptilian brain to recognize what is actually blocking the flow. We are herd animals and in times like these we do need a village around us. We can acknowledge where we are with curiosity and surprise: “Oh, looks like something got blocked up! No wonder I’ve been feeling so crap.”

When you’re having a day where there is no flow, get up and go for a gentle walk. If possible try to be mindful of your movements and nature around you. And if you feel like crying, do so, but put your attention on your movements, not on the tears that flow naturally. Allow sound to come with your tears. Make sure you open up all your joints and your spine so flow becomes possible: Yoga and Qigong can be great for this. And swimming is one of the best flow openers while you’ll be cleansed by the ocean plasma at the same time. Don’t forget to drink plenty of water on days where you feel stagnant.

Pushing can take so many hidden forms and I myself at times still overlook serious pushing moments. My grieving journey has gifted me with many deep freeze experiences and at times it felt like I would never recover nor get anything ever done again. But I can only say from experience, no matter how tempting, pushing never works. Instead of going forward you’ll be taking a very long detour instead.

Sometimes we simply need to be patient and trust until life takes us where we are meant to go next. Once your body has regained a better flow you will soon find yourself miraculously doing the things that before you had to force yourself to even get started.

Instead of trying to tick off things on your to do list, you will go into a natural and deeply connected flow. The things around you all of a sudden will let you know what wants to be done versus what seemingly needs to be done.

On some days it may be doing the dishes, finishing your tax, mowing the lawn, chain sawing fire wood, weeding, exercising, reading a book, making art or visiting a friend. On other days it will be having a nap and resting deeply.

With love

Barbara

Barbara Schmidt

Counselling Somatic

Trauma and nervous system recovery 

If you want to find out more about your nervous system and the incredible healing from trauma I am inviting you to read the short articles on www.counsellingsomatic.com.au in my blog section  - you can subscribe to my newsletters via my website and receive all future blogs conveniently via email.
Feel free to forward my article to others, but please add my name to it for copyright reasons.     You can also find me on my Facebook page “Counselling Somatic Barbara Schmidt"

Nurturing Resilience

I was lucky enough to be able to attended an amazing training with Kathy Kain in Melbourne called “Touch Skills for Therapists” and, during my Christmas holidays, finally read her book “Nurturing Resilience” (Helping Client Move Forward from Developmental Trauma) co-written with Stephen Terrell.

Too little is known about trauma and trauma informed therapy is unfortunately still underrepresented in the field of therapy. This can have a catastrophic effect for clients with complex early trauma, who often also suffer from physical symptoms such as migraines, fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue, autoimmune disorders, sensitivities to the environment, pain syndromes, insomnia, irritable bowel syndrome, spastic colon, constipation and/or diarrhea.

When not highly qualified it is easy to destabilize this client group further. They often suffer from intense emotional and physical dysregulation with a tendency to be hyper-aroused or hypo-aroused, limited resiliency and a predisposition to dissociate. Attachment and bonding difficulties are often underlying and their symptoms can escalate dramatically out of nowhere.

I  learnt a lot reading this book and can only highly recommend reading it for yourself. The following is just a short summary (some sentences are direct quotes from the book) of what was important to me, and hopefully it will inspire some therapists and health professionals to purchase the book:

When we grow up in an environment which is chaotic and lacks consistent feedback surrounding the safety of a situation, we become confused and then can’t properly differentiate between what is safe and what is a threat. We are then tuning more acutely toward the assessment of danger and limiting our ability to recognize safety when it happens. Then our physiology later in life will constantly prepare for danger, which has a detrimental effect on our health long term as constantly preparing for danger uses up a lot of energy. This means that there is not enough left for e.g. digestion, tissue repair and the immune system. Stress chemicals like cortisol will cause havoc and in the end our physical systems can be completely turned upside down and work against us. Parasympathetic nerve and sympathetic nerve become out of sync and turn on when they shouldn’t. In some cases they may even do the opposite of what they should be doing.

And the thing is, when we are tuned in to danger, we will certainly always find it! This then becomes a self fulfilling loop:  “our dysregulation signals threat, our memory of past confirms that threat is present and our threat response kicks into gear. We will over-respond or under-respond to the experience of threat and others around us are likely to respond as if they too are threatened.... We may even misinterpret healthy sensations and responses or give them a lopsided meaning!"

Hence the biggest importance in therapy is the building of a “safety map”:  learning to track positive sensations to describe what safety feels like (not just cognitively as developmental trauma happened way before the cognitive brain was developed):

“Interoception is the process by which a person notices their internal state. A combination of sensations and perceptions of physical processes are then evaluated by  the person to assess their interior milieu and decipher what it’s telling them about what they are feeling, how they are and even who they are.”

Improving interoception is a big part of building capacity towards resilience and is key in healing from trauma. “Our loudest source of interoceptive information comes from our digestive tract, it sends back a tremendous amount of information back to the brain.”

Interoception and Exteroception together (aka Neuroception) are the body’s holistic responses to tell us whether we are safe or not (this is not a cognitive process!!).Under stress even a healthy perceptive system provides distorted information. So if someone grew up with early trauma the amount of distorted information they have stored unconsciously is tremendous.

In therapy it is most important to develop a somatic vocabulary for positive experiences. Without properly attuned interoceptive language we cannot recognize the felt sense of safety; we cannot tell if we are truly regulated and hence can’t truly regulate ourselves when needed. It is so important to be able to differentiate between threat and excitation (enjoyable-ness without any threat). Clients who lack a “safety map” are only tuned in to a trauma map which will shape all their experiences.

Key element in treatment of developmental trauma is hence helping the client build healthier and more accurate interoception. Clients might not recognize “normal” when they feel it, they may interpret sensations through the lens of potential danger in the beginning instead of checking them out with curiosity and experimentation. “Resilience and regulation often have a quality of quiet that some clients will find unnerving. Quiet in the past signalled to them that something bad was about to happen to them.”

Regular homework to notice when something positive or pleasurable happens is supportive for clients. They need to learn to identify these experiences on a sensation level (otherwise it is too cognitive, too much rooted in higher functions of the brain that weren’t online at the time of the traumatic experiences)

The ACE (Adverse Childhood Experiences) study showed that trauma increases the risk of significant health issues over time. Immune responses and uptake of nutrition via digestion and access to replenishing rest are limited, while survival physiology is ramped up. This means that we than have too much sympathetic activation with inadequate breaking from the parasympathetic system. The body may even works against itself when sympathetic and parasympathetic systems are activated at the same time; and a high dorsal tone means being stuck in a freeze state. “A chronic dorsal state in a client is the mirror image of a chronically high level of sympathetic arousal with secretion of stress chemicals that disrupt bodily systems and don’t support relaxed social engagement.”

Contributors to ACE can be: prenatal and perinatal trauma, hospitalizations, early separation, neglect, domestic violence, alcoholism, falls, anesthesia, exposure to toxins, head injuries (just to name a few).

In the first three years of childhood we build the neurophysiological architecture for regulation and connectivity. The vagus nerve that supports social engagement acts as a break on the sympathetic system. It is responsible for slowing the heart rate without needing to secrete stress chemicals that disrupt other bodily systems. The vagus nerve becomes myelinated in pregnancy and this process continues through to adolescence, though most of it happens in the first 6 months after birth.        “When our early foundation is wobbly, everything built on top of it becomes unstable.”

The goal in therapy is regulation and to expand the window of tolerance. When in the window of tolerance we are truly regulated. We are in the optimal arousal zone, have the ability to self sooth and self regulate. We feel safe and connected; capable to receive, process and integrate information, and have the ability to reach out and have a sense of belonging.

Clients with early developmental trauma use a Faux window instead. They look regulated, but have to use defensive management patterns as a substitute for regulation. This can be via compulsive eating, drinking, dissociation, acting out, self medication, busyness, overworking, obsessive attempts to experience a sense of social connection (eg. constant smiles/ joking) or isolating oneself and withdrawing as social situations feel too overstimulating. In the faux window we create a sense of stability and regulation of arousal by narrowing our range of responses, reducing our flexibility and our ability for vulnerability. 

To give you a personal example: After a counselling session I had with my supervisor where too many old childhood stress chemicals were released all at once, I had to isolate myself from the world for days and overuse my old faux window. I was very aware of it after reading Kathy’s book and worked hard and asked for help to stabilize my own nervous system in order to be able to return to equilibrium and my window of tolerance.

Therapists need to have highly trained observational skills to notice subtle indicators for when a client is in a faux window as a client might look completely calm on the outside and even report feeling calm and normal. But a change of face color, body posture or breathing pattern might indicate that they are actually dissociated or anxious without being aware of it themselves - the  faux window has become the norm for them.  “A clients return to faux window may be mistaken for a return to regulation and the clinician may proceed with further interventions that only serve to strengthen the client’s defensive accommodations... A clinician can easily misunderstand or misjudge the client’s capacity to tolerate more stimulus.”

Therapy with ACE clients needs to be regulation informed, come in small increments and work from the bottom (reptilian brain) up. A therapists own ability to authentically self regulate and co-regulate will be vital.

There was so much more covered in this book for therapists, like the role of touch in therapy, somatic shame, polyvagal theory, the locus of control, the narrative of trauma and over/under-coupling.

I can highly recommend reading this book and can’t wait to read the next book “The Tao of Trauma’” that Kathy Kain has co-written with Alaine Duncan.

I hope that with my summary I contribute to your curiosity in understanding trauma and trauma informed therapy.

I certainly am passionate about this field.

Barbara Schmidt

 

Barbara Schmidt

Counselling Somatic

Trauma and Nervous System Recovery

If you want to find out more about your nervous system and the incredible healing from trauma I am inviting you to read the short articles on www.counsellingsomatic.com.au in my blog section  - you can subscribe to my newsletters via my website and receive all future blogs conveniently via email/

Feel free to forward my article to others, but please add my name to it for copyright reasons. I want this information to be shared.

You can also find me on my Facebook page “Counselling Somatic Barbara Schmidt"

Trauma through the eye of my German ancestry

I has been two years since I have written another blog. I know some of you are eagerly awaiting another article from me and this one might not be what you have been expecting. Today the keys on my computer are just begging me and I feel driven to write.

I have been asking myself, why an issue has been emotionally impacting me so strongly. I think it has to do with a combination of me being an enthusiastic  trauma therapist, German and an immigrant.
I am talking about the incarceration of children and adults on Nauru.

As a German woman due to my heavy inherited past of the holocaust I always felt the need to speak up when faced by an injustice.  I believe because of this history being silent was never an option for me. It felt like my obligation to speak my truth even though I might be very scared to do so.  Being scared was no excuse for me. I owed it to my ancestors and to millions of victims to stand up. And so I am standing up today and sharing some of my thoughts.

These days I am proud of being German.  I had to have many counselling sessions for myself on the deep guilt and shame I carry even though the Hitler era happened two generations before me. When nowadays one of my clients comes to me and mentions his/her/their  parents having been traumatized by the holocaust, I feel honoured and humbled to be able to work with this client. The old shame no longer binds me.

I have to speak up today for a new kind of shame has hit me. This shame is created by the government of a country I have chosen to live in and call home, Australia. Attending a book reading with Behrouz Boochani who was present via Skype and reading his newly published book “No friend but the mountains” has opened my eyes to this new kind of shame . It deeply struck me when Behrouz mentioned that he and his detention inmates have lost all hope to ever reach freedom. Not having committed any crime other than being forced to leave their country of origin these immigrants are incarcerated infinitely.  I cannot fathom what losing all hope might mean. It is too big to comprehend. It is unimaginable to me. I have seen some very desperate clients, but they still had some hope, somewhere.

When reading the book it struck me how already severely traumatized human beings are being systematically traumatized in an institutionalized manner. The strict yet continuously changing, completely unpredictable rules on a micro and macro level are hard to believe and can only be described as cruel. The senseless suffering of families separated from one another. As a trauma therapist I know how deeply trauma can impact a life. How it can cripple the life force we are naturally being born with, how our nervous system can be altered in a way that every day life becomes difficult. The smallest things can then make a person collapse into a freeze state.  Our government is creating a new multi layered kind of trauma that generations later people will be able to analyse and study. Wasn’t the stolen generation of the indigenous people on this land enough? Hasn’t Australia learnt the lesson that institutional systematic traumatisation carries on into many generations that follow? Research claims that it takes 7 generations to heal from severest of trauma.

The immigrants on Nauru have been completely stripped of their identity. People are not registered by their name, everyone is given a number and they have to answer to these digits.  I cannot comprehend that the Nazi regimes tattooing of numbers onto Jews arms is being copied in this way by our Australian government in this day and age. I am utterly speechless and even writing this down feels hard and paralysing. It makes me very emotional and I cannot comprehend how humans can do this to one another without the presence of any threat.

I am an immigrant myself and there are days where my homesickness hits me unexpectedly and heavily. My heart seems to bleed for the loss of my country even though I chose to leave and I live here happily and of my own will. I can fly back to my country whenever I want and I could decide to even move back to Germany should I come to that decision. I have a choice and despite that choice it sometimes hurts being away from my country of birth, from my roots. Immigrants of Nauru don’t have that luxury. They can never return to their country, they indefinitely have to grieve the complete loss of their country. This is hard enough. Being imprisoned for life on top of this is incomprehensible, is beyond me to even grasp. Even writing about is seems trivializing it.

Typing these words while enjoying my freedom and a good life seems such a middle class thing to do. It is so little. So useless in the face of what is happening. Maybe I am doing it to make myself feel better. Maybe I am doing it to feel less helpless. I have the luxury of relieving myself of this helplessness a little bit. There are people who cannot do so. I hope that for them we can take action. Action at the next election. Action writing to electorates.

Talking to one another about this subject, informing the people around us what is going on. Sharing how we feel. And in the end we are all the same. Human beings on a planet that needs protecting.

With a heavy and hopeful heart,

Barbara Schmidt

Barbara Schmidt

Counselling Somatic

Trauma and Nervous System Recovery

If you want to find out more about your nervous system and the 
incredible healing of trauma I am inviting you to read the short 
articles on my blog under www.counsellingsomatic.com.au 
- you can subscribe to my newsletters via my website -
or on my Facebook page “Counselling Somatic Barbara Schmidt"

Trauma education I: Freeze state that follows fight flight survival mechanism

This is my second posting of my trauma education series:
Most people have heard about fight and flight: It’s a survival mechanism that kicks into place when we are in danger and chatting and smiling don’t work anymore. The new situation requires us to do something different: We now need to be assertive and set a clear boundary , when it’s more severe push someone away (fight impulse) or we need to turn around, walk or run away (flight impulse).

It is normal having to use fight/or flight in life and it is clever that our bodies are set up for it. Without it people could walk all over us and things would get messy very soon.

 It is just as healthy that we have access to the freeze state. It’s our oldest survival mechanism controlled by a nerve called dorsal vegal. It helps us in smaller doses to go to sleep, in big doses it helps us to survive when even  fight/flight isn't enough anymore. We then go numb, dissociate and submit into immobility - we take refuge in the freeze state. In this state nothing hurts too much emotionally nor physically. Nature intended it this way to help us for when we have an accident or when we are being attacked.

While on this survival mode systems like digestion are shut down to conserve energy.  Staying in this state too long means our digestion suffers (irritable bowel syndrome) and since we feel less pain we also shut down from pleasurable experiences. We are meant to stay in this state for short times only -  we are not reptilians who can comfortably stay frozen for hours and even days.

The thing is – and here it gets problematic – that some of us when we were young were faced by situations where fight/flight would have been necessary. But a baby can’t set a boundary or pack its bags and walk away. The only way it can escape is by physically contracting  and then by going into a freeze state straight away.

The freeze state works so well, that as babies we then become used to frequently going into the freeze state. As adults later on we therefore go into a freeze state when fight or flight would be much more appropriate. Life that way becomes difficult and complicated very quickly and can look like one big exhausting survival instead of a joyful living.

The good news is, that therapies like Somatic Experiencing, EMDR, MATES and Brain spotting can help reinstate fight/flight and support a person to become unstuck from a freeze. By following sensations and slowing things down the body can carefully be coaxed back to homeostasis. Having fight flight online again and being able to transition to relaxed social engagement translates into a much more healthy way of being. Fun, joy, relaxing and nurturing can now be a much more regular part of your life with a healthier nervous system supporting you.

If you like these posts, please share them. Everying I have written is copy righted and I am requesting to give me credit for information passed on and copied. Thanks.

Should you have missed my pos “What is trauma?” , just check out my facebook  page “Barbara Schmidt Counselling Somatic” or have a look under the blog section on my web site www.counsellingsomatic.com.au   More info to this weeks topic: read Stephen Porges Polyvagal Theory. 

Next week I will write about “Reptilian, mammal and rational brain “speak” different languages”

Have a great day,

Barbara

 Counselling Somatic

Barbara Schmidt MAASW (Acc.)

Trauma education series introduction: What is trauma?

I am passionate about sharing what I know about trauma, especially now  having finished my three year training in Somatic Experiencing. I have sat down and written six articles on the following topics:

1.     Freeze state that follows fight flight survival mechanism
2.    Reptilian, mammal and rational brain “speak” different languages
3.     How the self soothing Parasympathetic Nerve develops and how patterns of        worrying and over-thinking can be set up in childhood
4.    Corrective experience creates a new imprint in cells of our body
5.   When sympathetic and parasympathetic nerve go into chaos and trauma        symptoms take over

I will start posting them each one week apart on the weekend (I am away this weekend without internet, so this one comes early) . If you like these posts, please share them. Information on trauma is something that needs to go viral. I am often stunned how little even professionals know about trauma.

What is trauma? It’s an event that is potentially life threatening (like a car crash where nothing much gets damaged and you walk away apparently unscathed  - it still has the potential to be life threatening and you might develop trauma symptoms). 

Trauma is also when we sense we have no control, feel overwhelmed and our whole organism is strained beyond its adaptional capacity. The Nervous system cannot restore to balance when it holds highly activated survival energies frozen in time (Maybe you wanted to turn the wheel around, but you couldn't as something was in the way – but your arm muscles still prepared for the turning of  the wheel). Biological responses that couldn't be completed at the time (as not enough time or resources were available or as it was not safe to do so) are stored in the body, signalling the brain that the trauma isn't over when in fact it might have finished years ago. Here an incomplete list of possible traumas:

·         Neglect and abuse in childhood

·         Attachment issues (avoidant, ambivalent or disorganized)

·         Accidents and falls (often overlooked!!!)

·         Birth trauma

·         Previous hospitalisations and Medical interventions (also often overlooked)

·         Over anxious parent

·         Sexual abuse

·         Domestic Violence

·         Transition issues

·         Loss of loved one

·         Lack of support

·         Generational inherited trauma

·         Natural and man-made catastrophes

Even if you can’t remember the trauma, because you subconsciously wanted to forget it (dissociating and forgetting is often a reaction to trauma) or you where too young to remember it (the hyopocampus brain, which helps us build memory isn't fully developed in younger years yet) – the body remembers every trauma! It then gives signals off that something isn't right which causes disruption in our organism and effects our nervous system, brain and mental health.(Effects of trauma have been named in my last post.)

Most of us have experienced some sort of trauma in our lives - how well we recovered depends on how early we experience the trauma (how helpless where we?), how severe or how ongoing it was and how much support we received afterwards.

I consider myself very fortunate and am grateful that I have had extensive trauma training, I feel humbled being able to help people recover from trauma. I have had my own share of trauma as most professionals do drawn to this profession and I can see in myself the amazing changes and shifts that occur due to the right care for my own nervous system.

Reading my posts you will hopefully understand why normal talking therapy doesn't work with trauma clients – all parts of the brain need to be targeted and the Autonomic Nervous System needs assistance  to reorganize in a more coherent and healthy way. My understanding of trauma has been informed by many years of personal growth work, training I have been offering myself on “practical neuroscience” and my Somatic Experiencing and EMDR training. If you are interested in reading more I suggest Peter Levine’s book “Waking the tiger”.

Should you miss a post, just check out my facebook page “Barbara Schmidt Counselling Somatic” or have a look under the blog section on my web site www.counsellingsomatic.com.au

Have a great day,

Barbara

 Counselling Somatic

Barbara Schmidt MAASW (Acc.)

Trauma education series starting soon

I have decided to do a series of blogs on trauma education and will be starting posting these blogs weekly. It’s so important that we all know more about trauma, so we can understand our neighbours, friends, kids, partner, family and the world around us better and be of better service.

The result of trauma can be:

·         drug and alcohol issues, any kind of addictions,

·         promiscuous behaviour, reckless behaviour,

·         trauma symptoms like IBS, migraines and other pain syndromes, insomnia,

·         anorexia, eating disorders,

·         repeatedly getting into unsafe situations,

·         dissociation, avoidance, care taker patterns,

·         aggression, social problems,

·         depression, anxiety, PTSD, post natal depression.

I look forward to hearing your responses and hopefully this stuff gets out there! Please share “recklessly”.   ;) 

Should you miss a post, just check out my page “Barbara Schmidt Counselling Somatic” or have a look under the blog section on my web site www.counsellingsomatic.com.au

I have finished my three year training in Somatic Experiencing

I have finished my Somatic Experiencing training - it has been an amazing journey. These last 3 years have changed my life! Step by step I learnt to understand my own (pretty tricky) nervous system. Trauma symptoms that no other counselling approach could touch are now beginning to shift. It is such a relief to notice this profound change in myself and I feel humbled being able to share this now with my clients and the world around me!

It was a privilege and great honour to be called up on stage and have Berns Galloway work with me during the training to demonstrate SE eye work. I loved the process - it released deep seated and long held stress and contraction while at the same time bringing me into contact with the richness of my inner world. Somatic Experiencing never ceases to amaze me and I am excited that learning in this area will never end – it might take a life time to understand all nervous systems.

It is such a joy diving into this alivenes, with a body full of amazing sensations and a nervous system with new found order and strength. In the last module we learnt about touch work to heal trauma, opening up joints, diaphragms and releasing trauma stored in organs – works best for my nervous system! 

I felt inspired to write a few words, celebrating arriving back home again after the intense last module of SE:

                                 Warmth of the earth spreading inside me.

                                 Wind rustling my hair whispering its song to my ear.

                                 Dancing shadows of trees sharing the sunlight with insects on the floor.

                                 Dogs waiting for a game dancing around me on soft paws.

                                 It’s good to be home again!